When she’s angry

Do You know when she is  angry?

How many of us haven’t gone through the long silent conversations over phone for days?
And those straight flaring looks in the eyes with no words on mouth?

I’m sure at least half of the guys there can relate to what I’m trying to say.
It’s quite easy to get your girlfriend pissed off about you, just forget one thing that she asked you to bring for her, and you’ve just triggered the “Watch me Burn” button in your
girlfriend.

It’s quite difficult to teach you guys “10 ways to avoid getting your girlfriend angry” because it is out of scope of this discussion and moreover its an advanced topic.
Thus, we’ll keep it for some other day. For now, assume for some reason X you’ve got your girlfriend angry and she’s standing right in front of you ready to explode you;
What can you do? Here are 10 things that you can do to save yourself and your skin.

1. Never justify why you did X.

This is the first thing you should avoid doing, because your girlfriend is angry!
Synonym for “angry” is ” I’m pissed off of you, if I had a sword in my hand it’d have been through your face, and I don’t care as to what you say and do “. Thus it really is waste of time and your precious energy to try to tell something to a creature which has shut its senses.

2. Don’t Run away from there.

I know many people who are afraid of girlfriends and more afraid when they’re angry, thus; avoid running away or slowly walking out of the situation. Because you gotta face it. Many people think avoiding conversation could fix things, but it’d make it even worse.

3. Don’t cry.

I know that your reason might be very genuine and you might suddenly recall as to how much you love her (or how much you hate) can be a big reason to bring tears in your eyes, but hold it. Don’t say anything, or break into tears. Because; yes your girlfriend might stop shouting at you but she’ll have a permanent opinion about you- “What a loser!”.

4. Don’t get angry.

Do I have to even say this? This is the hardest part. Yes you might be a boxing champion and feeling like hitting her face without gloves, but hold it: there will be better time for that. At least don’t do it for the reason X. You’d go days without talking for a silly reason if you get angry.

5. Don’t Kiss Her.

Dudes! Never ever!
I mean never kiss an angry girlfriend. I mean it literally. Would you kiss the fire breathing dragon from Shrek movie? Would you kiss the Gollum from LOTR? Why kiss your girl friend when she’s uttering the words from F-dictionary?

6. Don’t Hug Her.

You’d be surely crazy to jump and hug a tree on fire right? Yeah. Don’t hug her, this might be your immediate reflex action. Yeah its kinda cute, but I don’t think you wanna have a slap or two imprinted on your cheek after that right? Hugging is one thing girls hate when they are angry.

7. Don’t Ever Smile.

Yeah its true for how silly reason your girlfriend might get angry on you, it can be probably featured in Simpsons too, but whatever be the reason X. Bite your tongue and hold down your laughter. I’d give you an anchor to recall to make yourself serious. Imagine you are on the edge of a cliff and upon your right hand your girlfriend is hanging and on the left hand your brand new iPhone is hanging, you gotta save both, but you see that right hand is getting firmer and your left hand is slipping . That should do it eh??

8. Don’t look away.

Who’d wanna stare the sun at 1’o clock in the afternoon? at least without eclipse glasses? but you gotta do this. You have to look into her eyes all the time. Are you asking me if you can wear the Ray-ban glasses that covers half of the face and leaves open lips so that she can kiss you by chance? No you cannot. You gotta keep looking at her all the time.

9. Don’t Sigh.

She might end up saying a line to which you have an absolute, fool-proof, unquestionable, irrevocable, undeniable, patent-able, copyright-able, noble prize worthy excuse, and you might in response end up with “Huh!”, or “What!”, “Come on!”. Hold it inside. Write it on a small paper later and store it in your bedroom. One day you’ll have so many of those that you could sink ships with it.

10. Measure the Anger in S units and get started.

All you have to do is, stand there, make the face like the puppy below, and start saying “Sorry dear”, “Sorry Honey”,”Sorry baby”; focus.. keep looking in her eyes. S unit is nothing but number of sorries that’d take to calm her down. It might vary from few S to 100S or 200S. Continue saying “Sorry babe”, “I’m very sorry”, “I know, I’m such a fool”, although we all know you’re in fact saying “Go to
hell”, “You should be sorry”, “Guess what; I just sugar-coated dog-pile”. This should do the trick.

Finally, wait for her to fall in your arms, and please be there to receive her. After all, you’d feel every other thing that you did was worth it.

Don’t worry, You too would be angry some day and she’d be reading this article.

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