“Hey Frank, what’s up buddy?” I asked my friend while walking into the corridor of our college.
“Well, I’m just chilling hunter, what about you?” He replied. But I was too much in a hurry that I just winked and said that I’d catch up with him after a while.
Well, he called me a hunter because I recently had a girlfriend apparently, my first one and Frank was literally a hunter with the 20th on line, though he never ever bragged about it.
I continued to run down the hallway to reach the office desk on the counter where a staff member was seated, to inquire about the expenses that were pending as it was our last year in the college, and I forgot to tell that eight months had already been passed from that final year, well, four are enough for any big thing to happen to anyone literally.
“Hey Drake, have you seen Frank today?” I heard Lucy; she was Frank’s girlfriend back then.
“Hey there, yeah he’s just outside the hall, maybe waiting for you to show up” I replied.
She left without a second thought or talking about anything else. But since it was about her boyfriend who was waiting for her, I was not at all surprised.
After all that information that I had received from the office, I started to roll out of the hall to say a goodbye for that day to Frank and Lucy so that we’d also decided regarding the plans to follow, like partying, though it took about two hours to gather all the information and filling up required forms. When I came out of the office hall, I saw Frank standing tall in the field on a hot summer day and all sweating, this time, to my surprise as, Lucy was nowhere near to him.
“Lucy didn’t show up today or what buddy?” I asked casually when I reached him.
“Yeah, she just went back after meeting me. We had few plans for the day but she’s been cancelling the plans for some days, saying she didn’t like the plan at the first place or, she’d got something really urgent that came up suddenly.” He replied looking into the sky instead of me.
“Dying relation? Nothing bad I guess my true hunter, she’s probably your 20th and…”
“Last!” he shut me down by saying so, and later looked into my eyes and said it again.
“My last, Drake.”
I left him alone as I sensed that something really bad might have happened to him, a guy with a lot of spare time for any sort of party and literally any good looking girl in the city on any fine day, was standing alone in a field and just looked into the sky when the sun was at its peak. I called up my girlfriend, Jane and talked to her to feel a bit better and I actually did. But as soon as I hung up, I started to feel that it might happen with anyone, me too. True love is something that cannot be defined, but according to me, when someone turns into a need for you, which is not associated with materials or luxury, neither they’re an alternative to your happiness or fun but instead they are just a mere desire, to when you start feeling the need but you can’t figure out why you need them. That, is emotional, unconditional and true love, where reasons are not required to love, or to remember. I started to feel that after meeting nineteen different and of course beautiful ladies, Frank must have known that what he needed, and should have seen that in his 20th. Doesn’t matter what he did in the past, he was never dishonest, he’d never told any of the ladies in the past that he wanted to marry them to my best knowledge and belief, Lucy was the first lucky girl to experience Frank’s true love. But I was afraid that this is the first time for Frank too, for not having a girl who loved him more than he loved her, though, there’s a first time for everything.
Frank and me again met after a week and we talked just as normal, he was looking great as in funny like he usually was. I thought that everything was fine then, because he was my best friend I assumed that he won’t hide anything but, I was wrong. We all were were a fun loving bunch of people and never cared to attend the college even if it was the final year after which we might not see each others’ face ever. Everyone was preparing for exams those days as many of them wanted to score as much as they could’ve and for some of us like me, well, it was a necessity to score.
Days passed and Frank stopped contacting me, I thought he was busy in preparation but, I was again wrong, that too in knowing my best friend. On the day of our first exam, I thought to reach out Frank for taking last minute tips as he was among top five and I was at the same position from the bottom of the list but to my surprise and disbelief, Frank wasn’t seen anywhere, not outside the building, not inside the examination hall, never seen or contacted after the exam and it continued to last. When the similar incident happened during the next examination also, I contacted Frank’s dad, and was shocked when he said that, Frank was missing.
I had to focus on exams but only I know that how I did so, with Frank running all over my mind. After the completion of all exams, I started to search Frank but ended up with no success. Tired, exhausted and shocked, I sat down on my desk at home to check the social networks if they had any clue. Well, they had nothing but I ended up scrolling to a mail from Frank before the exam night and wondered since when he started writing mails. My little hopes turned into shock after reading the mail.
‘Hey Drake, it’s literally my first person to person e-mail lol,
Since you’re one of those people who matters, I’m writing this to you. Lucy didn’t come to me that day when I was waiting for her outside. Instead, after knowing that I was near fiel, as you told her, she went out from the backdoor, I don’t know whether it was fortunate or not, I was there to have a coffee for a short time and I saw her kissing another guy before going out with him. I don’t know why but I think maybe because I loved her and needed clue that she was with him for some other reason than what I was thinking, I followed them but, every time she proved me wrong. Well, needless to say, she cheated. He was Billy, captain of our rival college’s basketball team. I left her and all thoughts behind just to have some peace. It shouldn’t have happened when exams are so close. I tried hard but I might not be able to attend tomorrow’s exam, and maybe other ones too. I’m mailing you instead of a ping so that you read it instantly(sarcasm dude). I would leave home for exam but would visit some place which can provide some peace. It’s ill, but I’ve decided to do so. It’s just yet another girl, a yet another breakup and a yet another end(rather a drastic end) to a love story, right? Well, no, It’s getting much more painful than that. I realise when you just like someone, you don’t even care, but when you actually love, you do. She also has a life and chosen what she wanted, well build over charm(don’t laugh when I say that I have charm), but these sympathetical thoughts remained for just few minutes. Earlier I was angry on her and thought that she’s a, well you know, if I had felt the same till now, it would have been just little too fine but worse has happned bro, I’ve started to feel as if I am lacking something or many things which that guy possesses, and we guys, as you know, can never handle the thought of being parsimonious or inferior in comparison to someone else. I think I need a break, if everything goes right, I’d be back and it’s better to skip as I won’t be able to study or to come any remotely near of passing the exams. Anyways, hope you do well and all the best. Hope to see you soon.’
I never laughed when he wrote, ‘charm’. He had not aadded any closure lines or anything which seems like a professional mail so, I was sure that it was him writing his first person to person mail.
Days turned into months, then a whole year was gone and Frank was seen nowhere.
Phone was ringing and I remembered, it was my phone. It was Frank’s dad who called me up.
“Am I speaking to Drake?” He asked.
“Yes, uncle.” I replied.
“I’m Frank’s dad.” He stopped.
“Yes, I had your number in my contacts.” I replied
“I, I want to, I need you to come to my place.” was all he said after struggling with a few words.
I told him that I was coming and left for Frank’s home instantly. It was morning, 9 O’Clock when I reached a street with crowd gathered outside a house building, it was Frank’s home. I rushed inside to find his dad and after he discovered me first he came close and told me without struggling this time that Frank was dead. He wanted to know if I had any clue, and I had nothing but tears to shed.
Over a long period of investigation many things were yet to be discovered. I was drown away by many thoughts, he was my best friend and a very bright student, I cried but that was not all, I wanted to know that how it had happened. His dad later informed me that policemen said he jumped off a suicide point, it was not all, he’d taken hallucinatory drug known as LSD to overcome the pain and any emotional string attached that might have stopped him, it was given to people in 60’s, many people took it when they were about to die of something painful like cancer. He injected the drug to find courage as the thoughts of his family wouldn’t have let him to do anything like that. I was also not able to understand that, was it too bad? Was it worth that act? It was just a breakup and he’d became absolutely normal in a few days, was he out of his mind completely? Or was it really a suicide? As Frank’d never done drugs, it was hard to believe, but apparently like his first mail, he did something else for the first time, too, as I’d already said, there’s a first time for everything so, nothing should practically shock you actually.
Yes, he would have become absolutely normal if he had any vision that it was still so much of love left in him and someone more deserving should’ve had it. But you never know, I never know and no one else might ever figure it out that to what level he had that feeling for Lucy, and we all know that if you fall from 1st floor, it doesn’t hurt that bad, but if the same is in the case of 40th floor, well, you won’t survive. He was left, betrayed, under pain and without any support as he never shared anything with anyone so, it might have made him to feel useless and left off, which he wasn’t, no one is. Luckily, Lucy didn’t get any heartbreak or did anything stupid like Frank, she just moved on and stayed without any guilt maybe until she was left by Billy. I was all lost in the thoughts, but Jane took care of me and I am now out of that hangover kind of feeling, but I still miss him, he was just like a sibling to me.
All I can figure out is that when we decide to do something, we shouldn’t instantly become selfish, we must think about the people who are going to get effected. If Frank had thought about his dad who is running out of money now, he wouldn’t have done that. If Frank had thought about his mother who is still in shock after 5 years and don’t talk to anyone but herself, he wouldn’t have done that. If Lucy had thought about him just once, he wouldn’t have done that, even the thought of doing it wouldn’t have arrived at the very first place and later, she need not had to go through any guilt, doesn’t matter if guilt stays for a year or a second, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Frank’s parents are now on their own as he was their only child, I myself, moved to New York from the Bristol, UK, after a year of that incident.
Love requires one to be tough. Keep a margin of getting ditched, if you fail to remain strong or falls in a miserably truthful love, you would surely die out soon or later, physically or emotionally, doesn’t matter.
Frank wished me before going, and it worked like a charm that he always had. I scored among top five, which he always did and I never. All that might feel disgusting at the end but c’est la vie.
Author- Vishal Kumar Gaur